please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
