This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
