The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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