Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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