You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
