I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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