i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize