Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
