I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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