I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
