Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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