did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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