Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
