you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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