Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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