You just made me feel so damn special
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
