ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
