i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
