I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
