IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Houston, we have a squirter
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
