Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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