I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
