he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
