ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
