Don't make out with my wife yet
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
