Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
