Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i will never coherently bang her
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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