Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
