North Korea, Best Korea!
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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