It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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