brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i think i have two assholes
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize