We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I think my moral compass just broke
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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