ya dads aren't the best wingmen
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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