I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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