Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
