woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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