WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
