Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
In America we eat man semen.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
