dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize