i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
