so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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