Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
