he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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