he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
