ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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