If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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