meet me or not, i'm out of control
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
