glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
