Betty ford says i'm here all night
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
