U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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