There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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