Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
home. puking in laundry basket.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
