He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize