ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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