how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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