everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
