Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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