At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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