You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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